Whether or not you’re seeing someone right now, you can – and should! – be going on dates. (And no, I don’t mean those awkward, one-and-done Tinder lunches.) You should be dating yourself. I’m a huge proponent of taking yourself on solo dates, but I also know it can be intimidating. Luckily, I’m here to walk you through the process and share some first date ideas me, myself, and I have loved. Here’s how to date yourself:
What does it mean to date yourself?
What does it look like to start dating another person? You probably compliment them a lot, spend quality time with them, try new things with them, buy them nice things, and really get to know them.
Basically, dating yourself is the same! It means devoting time and energy to nurturing your relationship with your inner self.
It doesn’t matter so much what kind of solo date you take yourself on. What matters is that you spend that time in intentional solitude and start to get comfortable with yourself.
How to Plan a Solo Date
Step 1: Pick something out of your comfort zone.
First dates are uncomfortable. Chances are your first solo date will be, too. Choose an activity you think you’d enjoy, but make sure it’s slightly outside of your comfort zone. It takes guts to date yourself!
Step 2: Put it on your calendar.
You wouldn’t ghost a dinner date, so don’t ghost yourself! Put your solo date on your calendar, and make a commitment to show up for yourself.
Step 3: Make it special.
Get dressed up, put on perfume, do whatever you need to do to feel great about yourself. Basically, treat it like you would a date with another person!
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30 Solo Date Ideas to Try
Not sure what kind of date to take yourself on? Try these ideas!
- Go see a movie alone
This felt super scary at first, but now it's my favorite way to enjoy a new movie. (Don't tell my friends!)
- Book a facial
Treat your skin to some TLC and enjoy being pampered, or get glowy skin from home.
- Cook a fancy meal for yourself
Light some candles, put on some smooth jazz, and tap into your inner Gordon Ramsey.
- Treat yourself to dinner out
Table for one, please! Make a reservation at your favorite restaurant. Take a book, or just sit back and people watch for a while.
- Try an at-home spa night
Now's the time to use those bath bombs you've been hoarding. Run a bath, light some candles, try out a fancy face mask - whatever helps you relax!
- Take a class
Ever wanted to learn pottery? Or pasta making? Or polka?! Sign up for a class and learn a new, fun hobby.
- Plan a stay-cation
Hit up a nearby hotel or Airbnb for a weekend alone. You can stay in, or you can use it as an excuse to explore the parts of your town you've never seen.
- Get a manicure
A fresh set makes me feel just a bit more confident.
- Teach yourself a new craft
There are tons of free tutorials on Youtube for every craft under the sun: knitting, pottery, drawing, printmaking... The possibilities are endless!
- Host a solo wine and paint night
Buy a bottle of your favorite wine, hit the art supply store, and turn on an Bob Ross video. You'll get a fun night in and a new painting for your home!
- Try a new fitness class
Try yoga! Rock climbing! Pole dancing! You never know what new workout you might fall in love with. Even if you don't feel like it, there's also ways you can exercise when you have no energy.
- Take yourself on a picnic
Pack a picnic basket with the charcuterie essentials and relax in your favorite local park.
- Go on a shopping spree
Set aside a bit of cash to treat yourself to a shopping spree. It always feels good picking out a few fresh pieces in your wardrobe!
- Hit up a new bookstore
If fashion isn't your thing, splurge on a few hardcovers from an independent bookstore.
- Read in a coffee shop
Grab a latte, pick a seat by the window, and dig into that book you've been meaning to read for ages.
- Explore a new park
Walk or bike through a park you've never been to. You might just find your new favorite hangout spot!
- Plan a solo camping trip
If you're down to brave the dark (and the creepy crawlies), plan a weekend at a local campground. (More s'mores for you, right?)
- Treat your pet to something they love
This one isn't technically solo, but nothing feels better than showing your dog a good time. Take them to a park, buy them a new toy, or just spend some quality time together.
- Get dolled up and take photos
Put on an outfit that makes you feel hot and take some shameless selfies. If you're feeling extra daring, book yourself a boudoir session!
- Buy yourself some jewelry
You don't need a partner to spoil you with ice. If you have your eye on a ring or necklace, treat yourself!
- Give yourself a massage
There are tons of videos online on how to give yourself a real massage. (Trust me, it's a game changer.)
- Spruce up your space
Set aside a Saturday to rearrange your furniture, put up some new decor, and make your home feel a little more you - or go on a little decluttering spree.
- Visit a museum
There's nothing like a solo stroll through an art museum to make you feel like the main character of your story.
- Hit the local farmer's market
Buy some fresh veggies and treat yourself to a bouquet of local flowers.
- Run a bath and read a cheesy romance novel
You know, that book you really want to read but don't want to be seen with in public? Crack it open and enjoy!
- Take yourself to bed
Masturbate! Light candles, put on some music, and make it romantic. (You could even treat yourself to a new toy!)
- Spend an afternoon at a winery or brewery
Taste new wines, enjoy some bar snacks, and grab a bottle or six-pack to take home.
- Go to a concert alone
You don't need a buddy to go to a concert! Enjoy the live music and dance your heart out.
- Plan a tech-free weekend
Spend an entire weekend without your phone, computer, or television. Read, take walks, and relax.
- Meditate on the things you love about yourself
Even better, write them down. Whenever you're feeling unworthy of self-love, go back to that list.
Self care is about one person and one person only: YOU.
Any activity that reenergizes you and makes you feel great is self care. It's all about finding those things and working them into your daily routine. And what better way to hold yourself accountable than with a super customizable habit tracker? Grab your copy for free here.
If you're curious and want to get to know yourself better and learn to love spending time alone, try my 28-Day Romanticize Your Life Challenge to be guided through 28 days of fun prompts that get you out of your comfort zone and autopilot and have you fall back in love with your life and routines.